The last day at the old house, I woke up on a mattress on the floor of an empty room. I closed the window to my childhood bedroom, shutting out the view of the jasmine my mother had planted for me just outside. Each summer, the scent of blooming jasmine would waft in on the breeze. I loved that. But this was the last time I would close this particular window. I won’t smell the jasmine ever again.
I walked through empty rooms, footsteps echoing, memories following me like hungry ghosts.
I wrote a note to the little girl who will be living in my bedroom, and I hid it in the closet where she might discover it some day. Some day when she’s learned how to read.
I went out into the garden, that ring of green that encloses the house making it feel private and quiet. Once you walked though the gate, you were in another world, a place I always felt safe and comforted.
class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-size: small;”>
Then I got in the car and drove away for the last time, tears running down my face.
I fully intended to cry until somewhere near Redding, three hours away. I was leaving late in the day and needed to cover as much distance as possible; it’s a long drive from San Francisco to Seattle. But something made me skip the exit that leads to the big highway. I had decided to go out of my way to stop in Petaluma at Della Fattoria, my favorite bread bakery and café. I often stop here when I am heading north, but I usually do it early in the morning. Their egg sandwich with olive tapanade, made with eggs from their own chickens, is my favorite road trip breakfast.
I wasn’t even sure I was going to stop—I didn’t have time. But when I found a parking spot right in front of the bakery, I took it as a sign. I dried my tears and dashed in to pick up some snacks and bread. It would be my last taste of Northern California.
PUTTING THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER SPINACH SOUP
This isn’t the soup that Kathleen fed me
at Della Fattoria, but it does the same job. The recipe came to me via a friend, Lalie, who made it when we were both living in Japan, far from home. I believe it may trace its roots to the Moosewood Cookbook, though their version calls for carrots and other things.
I hadn’t made this soup in years, and I had forgotten how wonderfully sustaining it can be. There’s so much spinach in here that it feels like it has to be healthy, and the potato gives it a flavor that is very vaguely reminiscent of (dare I say it?) potato chips. In the midst of a very stormy Seattle fall, it’s my new/old favorite. All I wish is that I had some of that great Della Fattoria bread. As you can see, it’s sorely lacking here in Seattle.
I’m still trying to convince Kathleen to move north. She’s the sort of person you want in the neighborhood.
3 medium potatoes
1 onion
3 cloves garlic
1 pound spinach (2 bunches)
3 cups water
2 tbs butter
2 tbs flour
1 1/2 cup milk
(you can substitute heavy cream for the above three ingredients if you’d like an easier/gluten-free option).
3 tbs salt
pepper to taste
Peel potatoes and cut into large chunks. Peel onion and cut into eights. Peel garlic. Add all three ingredients to a large soup pot and cover with water (about 3 cups). Since the soup will eventually be blended, you don’t need to worry about cutting into small pieces.
Throughly rinse the spinach. I do this by submerging the bunches in a large bowl of water and shaking them vigorously while underwater. This should dislodge the grit. Pour out the first round of water and repeat until the water runs clean (2 times is usually adequate).
Twitter
Flickr
RSS
How lucky you are to be sad because you are leaving a home where you have so many wonderful memories.
I am that lucky too.
Sometimes before I go to sleep I walk around my childhood home in my head. I bet you will too.
That was a very touching story. May you have lots of new and happy memories in your new home too.
Tea, leaving that note for the little girl was a loely thing to do. I was once a little girl who was left such a note, and I spent much time imagining the person who had lied there before me.
Having just moved from my first marital home, I understand that feeling of loss. I think often we feel that we need the concrete evidence that binds our memories.
I am so glad you found comfort in turning to a place that is already dear to you.
P.s – to propegate the rose clippings, place each in a jam pot of water till roots begin(a little baby bio will help). When you have an inch of root, plant in a plant pot with a mixture of soil and compost. when you have something thas ten inches or so, with a few branches and strong roots, you should be able to plant it outside.
My papa grew roses. They are one of the few plants I have a way with
i can't imagine the day my parents move out of their house. we moved in on my 2nd birthday – i remember pulling up behind the moving truck and seeing it unload my tricycle. i'm 23 now and they're still there.
that soup sounds tasty – i'll be picking up some spinach at farmer's market this week!
The walnut levain from Columbia City Bakery, here in Seattle, is a delicious loaf.
I LOVE that you wrote a letter to the child who is going to inherit your room. What a lovely, brilliant thing to do. I'm sure she'll cherish it.
Beautiful post. Thank you.
I'm sad for your home – it will miss your voices. I'm happy there will be other voices, but it's not the same, is it? Is your Mom moving to Seattle, too?
I'm so glad you had someone to show you such kindness on your trip back to Seattle. I love stories that show the world as the beautiful, warm place I know it can be.
Off topic, I know you have written loads about living in Japan. I'm headed to Tokyo on Wednesday (my first trip there) — I'll only be there for 5 days…is there one place/restaurant/anything you'd recommend I check out? Thank you!!!
I love that you left a note for the little girl who'll live in your room. And I love that Kathleen welcomed you and fed you and loved on you. What a perfect ending to a sad day.
You really touched my heart with this post. I remember very vividly leaving the house where I had grown up when it was empty and quiet. That moving day, which was 40 years ago, will always be one of those moments in one's life that persists. In fact, I believe I will make your delicious recipe for dinner to make myself feel good again! Thanks!!
My heart broke while reading your post. It does seem like the end of the world, right? But there's so much love in the world, I hope and pray it doesn't stop in our childhood homes. Take care!
the idea of that little girl one day finding that note is so wondrous. it's a little reminder how connected we all are and how we each have stories that have shaped us. i bet you she leaves a note for the next occupant!
That…was a beautiful post. I'm sorry you're leaving your childhood home, but making new memories will be exciting, and you'll always have the old ones. Also love the fact that you left a sweet note for the little girl who'll be enjoying your old room!
Good luck on your new journey!
I just have the biggest pinch in my heart reading this. Reminded me of the feelings I had when we moved from our house in Provence. I spent hours in the garden, sniffing and mentally registering all the smells of my childhood. The rosemary, the thyme out my window. The apricot, fig, cherry trees on the way up the driveaway. My brother and I carved our initials in our closets.
I love the note you left for that little girl. I hope she does the same when she leaves.
Glad you found comfort with people you loved and who loved you too.
((hugs))
Such poignant memories! I loved that your mom planted jasmine outside your window. Perhaps you can plant some near your new home…
First off, I think I will head right over to Columbia City bakery and get some of their walnut bread for a grilled cheese sammie. Second, you are killing me with these beautiful nostalgic posts! I had tears streaming down my face about two paragraphs in. *sigh* I hope we can create these wonderful memories for our own daughter in our new home. And yes, it was so sad to leave that last one- we had only been there 5 years but it was the house we lived in when we got married and when we had our first baby. I don't want to move again for a long time….
This was such a sweet story! You had me welling up at work!
Oh, Tea. I love the note for the little girl. It was generous and sweet — you make me miss the house even though I've never seen it myself. Like Victoria, I also sometimes mentally walk through my childhood home when I'm lying in bed at night. I drive by it once every few years, when I'm back in Delaware, but it's been many owners since I had the nerve to knock on the door and ask to come inside. Last time I did, my white lace curtains were still up in my bedroom (though I think of them as my sister's curtains, we used to share the room), and the bookcase my grandfather built was still there on the wall.
This post made me cry a little. I'm so glad that you found someone to show you such kindness on your road back home. The note to the little girl was beautiful, too. Thank you for sharing this story with your readers.
A lovely post Tea. Leaving the note for the little girl was such a sweet thing to do. It must be wonderful to have such lovely memories of home. We moved every 5 years and I don't have a love or happy memories of any of our homes.
Tea, like Andrea, I've got to tell you…you're killing me with these posts! And I mean that as the highest of compliments…you are doing such an incredible job of taking us on what I know was a difficult and painful and bittersweet journey for you, and I am so appreciative of your photographs and your words and your willingness to put this out there. Thank you, even if you're making me cry with each post.
Most poetic blog post title ever. The rest is pretty sweet too.
glad you had someone to give you a hug! take care tea!
It's so amazing to have people like that in your life, even if they're only there for moments like that.
Also, that soup looks so good right now. Another tip for making it gluten free–as I will when I make it
–is to simply swap out white rice flour for the regular in the roux. Works beautifully every time.
That was a beautiful post – one of my favourite of yours ever. I hope the passing of time has let you look back with a little more happiness than this day brought.
what a lovely post. moving house is always bittersweet. thank you for sharing this.
you should check out Essential Bakery in Wallingford. I'm most homesick for their breads and pastries (I live in Cleveland now, good options but it's always sad leaving behind your favorites…) good luck!
a grilled cheese sandwich made of Mt. Tam cheese and sharp apple on Della’s amazing walnut bread
Oh my…my mouth is watering now. I miss Mt. Tam!
I just jotted down the ingredients on my market list with hopes of making this for supper tonight. Thanks for such a lovey read – oh, to be a fly on the wall when the wee one finds your note!